Why preparation matters
Your first meeting sets the strategy. When you arrive organized, your attorney can spot issues quickly, estimate timelines, and outline next steps. If you want a quick primer before you meet, skim our Blog feed to see how Virginia courts handle common divorce and custody topics. (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
The must-bring list (print this)
1) Personal & case basics
- Full legal names, addresses, phone numbers, and emails for both spouses/parents and the children
- Marriage date, separation date, and any prior court cases between you
- A short timeline of key events (moves, job changes, incidents)
For separation mechanics in Virginia, review Are Separation Agreements Required in Virginia? (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
2) Existing court orders & agreements
- Any custody, visitation, child support, or protective orders
- Any separation/property settlement agreements
- Any pending hearing notices or deadlines
You can also read our Differences Between a Contested and Uncontested Divorce to understand how agreements can streamline your case. (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
3) Parenting & custody proof
- School: attendance, grades, IEP/504 plans, teacher emails
- Health: pediatrician notes, therapy summaries, medication logs
- Caregiving: calendars, exchange logs, childcare receipts, activity schedules
- Communication: co-parenting app records, texts, and emails (screenshots help)
For a deeper dive on persuasive proof, check Types of Evidence in a Child Custody Case and What Judges Really Look at in Virginia Custody Cases. (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
4) Financial snapshot
- Last 3–6 months of bank, credit card, and loan statements
- Recent pay stubs and two years of tax returns (W-2/1099)
- Health insurance costs and childcare expenses
- A simple list of assets (home, cars, retirement) and debts
Curious how money issues might intersect with your case? Start with How Is Spousal Support Determined in Virginia? and How Is Marital Property Divided in Virginia? (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
5) Safety & urgent concerns
- Photos, messages, or reports that document abuse, threats, or substance issues
- Protective order paperwork, if any
- Names of witnesses or mandated reporters (teachers, doctors)
See our Family Law page for how our team navigates protective orders alongside custody. (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
Nice-to-have items (bring if you can)
- A proposed parenting schedule (week-to-week, holidays, travel)
- A relocation outline (new housing, school options, travel plan)
If relocation could come up, read Types of Child Custody in Virginia to understand how legal vs. physical custody arrangements work with moves. (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
Questions to ask at the consultation
First, clarify goals:
- What outcomes best match my child’s routine and schooling?
- Which issues should I negotiate now versus litigate later?
Next, map the process:
- What’s my likely path: negotiation, mediation, or litigation?
- What deadlines or temporary (“pendente lite”) options should I pursue first?
Then, discuss timing and cost:
- How long does a case like mine usually take? (For perspective, see How Long Does a Divorce Take in Virginia?) (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
Finally, confirm communications:
- How often will we check in?
- Which documents should I upload first?
How to organize everything (fast)
- Use one cloud folder with subfolders: Court, Kids, Finances, Comms, Safety
- Name files clearly:
2025-09-15_SchoolAttendance.pdf - Export text threads to PDF and highlight important dates
- Keep a running chronology in one page—bullets, not prose
Before you finalize your packet, refresh on the custody framework with What Judges Really Look at in Virginia Custody Cases; it will help you connect your documents to the best-interests factors. (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
What you don’t need (yet)
- Character letters (save these for later unless the attorney asks)
- Full discovery-style binders (start with the highlights above)
- Social media printouts without context (curate only relevant posts)
Red flags to mention immediately
- Repeated denial of court-ordered parenting time
- Plans to move schools or residences
- Safety concerns, substance issues, or stalking
- Sudden money moves (large withdrawals, hidden accounts)
If you need a refresher on divorce frameworks while you prepare, read Fault vs. No-Fault Divorce in Virginia. (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
After the consultation: your 7-day action plan
Day 1–2: Upload the most urgent documents the attorney requested.
Day 3–4: Draft a proposed parenting schedule and note holidays.
Day 5: Pull the last two years of tax returns and recent pay stubs.
Day 6: Export and label your most relevant text/email threads.
Day 7: Revisit our Child Custody overview and confirm your next deadlines. (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
Related reading on our site
- What Judges Really Look at in Virginia Custody Cases (factor-by-factor guide). (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
- Types of Child Custody in Virginia (definitions and examples). (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
- Types of Evidence in a Child Custody Case (documents that persuade). (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
- Are Separation Agreements Required in Virginia? (how agreements support stability). (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
- How Long Does a Divorce Take in Virginia? (timelines and factors). (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
- How Is Marital Property Divided in Virginia? (equitable distribution basics). (Collins Family Law P.C. –)
Bottom line
Come prepared, stay child-focused, and lead with facts. When you organize your story and bring the right documents, you give your attorney the tools to build a smart, Virginia-specific strategy from day one.